? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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