google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
