Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
