Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
