Your tits are I can't wait for
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
