Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
