Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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