im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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