so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
