Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
