Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
