Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i think i have two assholes
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
