let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize