This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
