Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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