Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
