All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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