I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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