can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
