there's paper in my vomit.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize