i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I believe in your delicious
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
we should paint friendship bongs
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