he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
