Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
