Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
