I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
