Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
