I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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