i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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