Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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