I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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