How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
