Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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