I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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