Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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