I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
