Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
