I don't remember. Are we still dating?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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