The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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