found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
