I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
