YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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