At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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