Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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