I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
