She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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