That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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