Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize