i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Drake has all the answers
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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