chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
