i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
