Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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