Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
