yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
