we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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