u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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