i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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