Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
